Excitement, the Oxford English dictionary defines it as a feeling of great enthusiasm and eagerness, but that honestly does not even begin to describe how I felt about the journey I was now on. I felt a sudden warmth in my heart, I had butterflies in my stomach and tears in my eyes as I sat in a taxi going home. For the very first time in my life I felt was given a chance by God to be happy and content, a baby is after all the greatest blessing one can receive(in my opinion) and that is not a blessing that everyone receives.

Reality hadn’t yet sunk in, it hadn’t sunk in that I was about to take on the greatest responsibility. I was now responsible for someone’s health and happiness, all that not yet clicked in my mind and the look on my boyfriend’s face when he got home and saw the scan did not make things any better. In his eyes I saw stars, he was happy and had the most genuine smile on face, all he could say was “thank you my love”. This was not his first child but his happiness was so sincere and for a moment it felt like it would just be the two of us and nothing else existed. Had I known that that moment would probably never come again I would have probably held on to it a bit longer or even had it captured because from that moment my first trimester officially began and everything went downhill.

I was luckily not those girls who would vomit every morning but I felt nauseous every morning and every night. I tried everything from lemon and water to ginger biscuits and it all seemed to help at the beginning but then a few days after it just wouldn’t help, so I got myself to start having a healthy breakfast and it got better as the days went by and now I was battling with never ending headaches, and the baby daddy was constantly complaining about me being moody and not talking to him but I was just always so tired it felt like he was not making things any better for me so we would fight almost everyday and it just kept getting worse. Everyone told me it was all normal, they told me how I was carrying a girl because of how things were between us and I think that got to me the most I hated how people expected me to just accept that it was my baby that bringing so much conflict between us.I failed to understand what was going on and I didn’t want our relationship to suffer, not only was my relationship suffering but work and school were also beginning to drown me. I was constantly late at work and having a manager that did not like me so much was not helping me so I ended up getting warnings for every single time that I was late at work. I was now beginning to think, this is definitely not what I prayed for when I prayed that God give me a child.

Weeks passed and I went for my next appointment, this time boyfriend came along so I was happy you know it felt like there was light at the end of the tunnel. Just when we were about to poor guy’s palms were literally sweating and and he was scared, you know when you are going for that interview for that job you really want, how anxious you become, it was so funny because when we did the scan he couldn’t even see baby before the Doctor actually showed him but the heartbeat was so loud melted him, he was all jolly and playful but even hearing baby’s heartbeat could not change the fact that we were still not in a good place

So did this mean I would end up being a single mother?

No one can ever prepare you for the moment when the doctor tells you the good news, it’s an indescribable feeling.

Have you ever tried using those “period tracker” apps? I did and here I am a few months later PREGNANT. Sometimes we challenge God and underestimate his power forgetting that he is the alpha and the omega. I would say this was me challenging God because well, I’ve always been someone who loves children and being a mother was something I always prayed for but I prayed that God give me a man who will be a good father to my child, so I would say that this was a planned pregnancy or rather the more appropriate way to describe would be to say it was a prayed for pregnancy.

My ovulation days came and you know what the internet and doctors say about ovulation days right? I followed that advice and my period didn’t come the following month but it just didn’t click to me that I could really be pregnant, this had happened to me before and so I carried on with life as usual. In the second month I started noticing that my breasts were getting bigger, I was constantly tired, always fighting with my boyfriend even for the smallest and unnecessary things. I remember telling a close friend and colleague of mine that I think I might be pregnant and he encouraged me to take a pregnancy test and he also advised me to stop drinking energy drinks until we know for sure what if I’m pregnant or not because those had now become my daily bread since I was forever tired but I just couldn’t get myself to buy one and so I continued to ignore the signs. I started getting more tired and I couldn’t stomach some foods but I still chose to ignore the signs and I had now missed my period for the second month.

One Monday morning I was late for work and because I had found myself being in trouble for constantly being late for work I decided to go to the doctor instead, I wasn’t feeling like my usual self anyway so this was a perfect time. When I got to the doctor he asked the usual questions but I lied about when my last period was because I was for some strange reason now nervous, so he told me I will first need to do a pregnancy test before he can prescribe anything for me. The doctor gave me the results in less than two minutes “Congratulations!You are pregnant” I thought maybe I had heard the wrong thing so I asked him to repeat what he said and he repeated the exact same words. Honestly I couldn’t believe it, I was in shock (one would ask,why? When I had orchestrated this whole thing but I just was) and so we did the scan and he said “you are 7weeks and 2days pregnant”.Seeing that tiny fuetous brought tears to my eyes I had never felt so blessed like I was at that moment. When the doctor told me that we can discuss my options on my next visit I told him right there and then that I am keeping the baby. Immediately after walking out of that doctors office I called my friend Tee because I knew she would never judge me instead she’d be as happy as I am, and I told her she couldn’t believe it and I sent her the picture of my scan. And from that moment I became a 22year old mother to be. I still couldn’t believe it but I was happy and that is all that mattered